Upcoming Travel

I am so excited! I have three big trips coming up that are going to be amazing!

First: Buddy and I are chartering a 30ft catamaran and sailing around the San Juan Islands and Gulf Islands with 4 of our friends for a week

Next: I am going to my to my hometown to be my best friend's doula. This is going to be incredible. It will be one of those moments that mark a time of change that was inevitable, but you are never ready for. She has been my soul mate since middle school and I can't believe we are childbearing age! I am so glad that my calling can serve her through the first time she gives birth and also help her for a week or so post partum. I can't wait to see the little thing!

Finally: I am traveling to Monaco via Paris to spend some time with 3 dear girl friends. We all love food and adventure. Last time we did this we went to New Zealand and it was one the best trips of my life. I intend to use some of my Paris dining knowledge from "A Homemade Life" to eat well.

One of the above mentioned 3 ladies shared this video with me and definitely got me pumped up for the trip. Three friends travelled around the world and made one minute videos of their experiences. This one is about the food they ate. The creators also made two similiar videos called "Move" and "Learn"

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

i keep coming back to the good stuff

You know how you go through phases of enjoying something so much that you listen to it/eat it/ watch it over and over until you get sick of it? (i write this as i am popping down my fourth fruit roll up in 10 minutes) Well, I must say that I have never gotten sick of My Morning Jacket! A roommate in college introduced me to them and we used to listen to the "Z" album over and over and belt out "Wordless Chorus" without shame. A few years later I moved out to Seattle and watched "I'm Not There" with a friend. There's a scene in the movie where there is a funeral and a man singing "Going to Acapulco" and I thought it sounded like the lead singer from MMJ and it turned out it was! While researching this I realized they have put out more cds and I promptly bought them. The albums "Dawn" and "Evil Urges" are great with their own distinct feel. Something about Jim James' voice just makes me want to toss my hair from side to side and belt out the lyrics. They were on my list of "Bands I Must See Live", and then they came to town a couple of weeks ago just in time for my 3rd honeymoon! Buddy and I snagged tickets and got blasted by their live set. Awesome energy, but I think Buddy and I are getting a little too old for the stand up and get shoved around by sweaty teenagers and drunken 30 year old crowd. We had a good time anyway and I loved the show! So glad I went.

The song my roommate and I used to belt out in our dorm room:

Here's a taste of their new stuff with an intro by Conan. He even mentions the show we attended!

My favorite song from "Evil Urges"

I miss this

I just finished hosting a baby shower. I don't miss that. But I do miss quiet saturday evenings, when the temp is still warm at 8pm and the sun is just beginning its hour long yawn before bedtime around 9pm. I made my second baby sling for a client. This one turned out better than the last. I have posted pics of it on the Projects page. I plan to continue making baby slings for clients as gifts. And I keep getting clients. I hope business is this easy when I am a midwife!

I am in the midst of creating a curriculum for christian childbirth classes. I have learned so much while doing it. I am basing it off of Jennifer Vanderlaan's curriculum.

Buddy and I celebrated our third honeymoon (2nd anniversary) over 4th of July weekend by doing a 5 day backpacking trip in Olympic National Park. It was amazing. Very beautiful! We saw 7 black bears. One of which we had a very close encounter with and quickly realized the difference between mace and bear spray. Don't worry, we didn't end up needing it.

Over this backpacking trip Buddy and I reflected on two major struggles in my life. I am not at peace. I know I will always have things on my To Do list and I can't ever get everything done, I will never be satisfied, and I will alway make myself self insanely busy. Where's the peace in that? If I believe God is in control of everything and His plan is better than mine, then why I am so upset about not completing my To Do list? Or not spending my time the way I want. It's because I don't believe those things. I am constantly trying to make my life better, get things done, and do what I think is best. I don't actually trust in God's plan, I only trust my own. How do I trust God's plan?

The second lesson is that I have still been struggling with a birth I attended last fall. I was the doula for a close friend and she wanted a natural childbirth that turned into a C-section. She was very afraid of that happening and wanted me to help her prevent that. I know she doesn't hold me responsible for what happened, and there's not really anything that I could have done to change the circumstances, but I still felt terrible about it and every time I see her I want to ask her to forgive me. As I was telling Buddy this he helped me realize that I had been feeling like it was up to me to give women the perfect birth. I was making it my responsibility to make sure nothing bad happened to the women I was serving. If I just worked hard enough or knew enough or did the right thing at the right time, maybe I can save all women from having a bad birth. All of this is a lie I honestly believed. No matter what I do, God has a plan for every women's birth. It's not up to me to change that plan. But I can still help them get through it, and to trust God all the while.

This weight will only get heavier as I become a midwife. I can not rely on myself, I must trust God and know that His plan is best. Even if it does not look like a "perfect birth" according to my standards. Each woman has their own experience for a reason.

How I feel

I kept my promise after all!

Ok so I realized the best thing I can do is write a blog about all the amazing things I am learning about as a doula-midwife and hot topics the girls and I discuss.

I am totally pumped! It's still in the works, but here's the beginning: MISSeducation. www.misseducation.blogspot.com was taken already by someone who made ONE post back in 2007 about britney spears!! Ugh! Anyway, it looks like blogger is going to toss blogs that haven't been updated since 2007 in June, so if this blog goes off well then I might be able to nab the blog address without a hyphen. Cross your fingers! What should our first topic be?

I'm gonna forget everything I wrote two days ago

So, already I am trying to bite off more than I can chew. I am a slave to my creativity and insane drive to do EVERYTHING. T$ and I were laughing about Hyperbole and a Half today and then we casually started talking about how the blogor (thats hip lingo I made up for a "blog author" quick! someone write a wiki article about it so people who don't use a dictionary will think it's a real word) quite her job and makes enough money from her blog to get by. Since i am quitting my job in a year anyway, I thought "I can do that! If I get enough followers now, then I can start making money off of the blog by next year to provide a pretty sweet cushion." Forget everything I said two days ago about just following my calling and not filling my time with a bunch of distractions. This doesn't count... So as I biked home and stopped by the grocery store to pick up my dinner this evening, I realized 2 things:

1. How quickly you resort back to bachelorette behavior when your husband is gone

2. I need a gimmick for my blog

Let's start with #1. So I needed to pick up milk because we ran out this morning. As I was picking up milk I realized I had no plans for dinner so I went down the frozen food isle to see what was what. I picked out a bag of frozen food that had a delicious looking picture on the package, included meat AND vegetables, and said it made 2 servings. I thought "oh great, i'll eat a serving tonight and have left overs for lunch tomorrow. totally worth $6, right?" This is how my bachelorette dinner turned out.

Classy, no?

After having a 2 minute argument with myself about whether to save the last little bits for lunch tomorrow, I ended up eating it all. 2 servings my butt!

#2. So what should be my gimmick? Should I even do this? T$ helped me brainstorm some ideas, which include:

• write about food. is that too done? I kinda already do that.
• have a goal like in Julie and Julia, where I try to accomplish something in a year. For example; I could try to see all of the curiosities in the Pacific Northwest in one year.
• OR I could try to tie this blog into my calling by blogging about women's needs, resources for education, tips, tools, hot topics, things you should know, etc.

To top off my bachelorette evening I am going to bring my laptop to Starbucks, have a chai latte, and try to do some homework because I feel smarter there (and less lonely).

rain rain go away, bring back my man instead

Another business trip for my buddy. He'll be gone until Thurs. I always lack motivation to come home from work when he's gone. I had to bike to work in the rain this morning to top it all off.

I'm actually blogging to stall doing homework right now. I have to complete a lab, a crossword (my fav part), and read 3 chapters before taking my mid term all hopefully before Sat. It's gonna be a busy weekend. Is there anything wrong with doing homework at work?

Last night buddy and I snuck out for some dinner at a vietnamese place down the street that was recommended to us. it was awesome! huge steaming bowls of Pho with duck salad for $7! Jealous!? and to top it all off, there was a large group of vietnamese men gathered around a table near us having rounds and rounds of beers and a good old time. They would make jokes that we could only recognize by the resounding laughter at their table and buddy would turn to me and shake his head, "i just don't get vietnamese jokes"... mostly because he doesn't speak vietnamese. Then one of the older men breaks out into this amazing vietnamese sonnet and sings to his friends. some of them join in singing a phrase or two and at a couple of apparently key phrases they would all raise their heinies and take a swig. It was like something from a movie. I felt like I should be dressed like Ayn Rand and we were in some hole in the wall restaurant near Vietnam in the 50's. I was waiting for the waitress to join in and sing a tune and the old man to get up and dance with her across the restaurant like Fred Astaire. Instead, buddy and I finished our romantic meal, paid the tab, and as we got up to leave, the old man looked at us "sorry for ruining your meal!" we laughed and shook our heads "not at all!" and then he looked at me and sang "you're so beautiful" as we exited. I probably blushed.

Off I go to study neurons and eat green curry from a jar.

Happy Easter!

I am constantly amazed by our church. Pastor Mark Driscoll announced just a few months ago that we would hold Easter at Qwest stadium this year and it was hard to comprehend. Flash forward: i am on stage in a gold robe singing "Christ is Risen" in front of over 17,500 people while over 500 people got baptized. One of the most amazing experiences ever. I have never been a part of something so moving.

This is the video of the sermon. Every once in a while you can see me in the front row of the choir just to the left of the cross.

When Pastor Mark walked on stage in front of me and I saw his timer start ticking away 20 minutes, I thought to myself, "how can he possibly preach the Gospel to thousands of unbelievers in 20 minutes?" Well, he did it. And he did it well. Check it out.

When the music is posted you know I will post it here.

It was a blast. I wish all of you could have been there.

My tear jerking moment: I was walking around afterwards as people were still getting baptized. I saw a young woman get baptized, walk down from the tub and hug a young man who I assume was her brother. I recognized the brother as a church goer. She looked at him and hugged him. Initially he kept a stoic faced and hugged back, and then I saw his face change as the emotions overwhelmed him. His stoic look turned into tears of relief and joy and he embraced her tightly, his shoulders beginning to shrug up and down as the tears began to flow. The amount of happiness he must of felt knowing that when either of their lives end on this earth, he knows he will see her again in Heaven. I pray that I would know that about all of you!

I love you all!

Happy Easter!

a new leaf

So I started this blog to figure out those handful of things that make me happy. I think I have found the ticket. I am really excited. I have been struggling for the past year with being overwhelmed in so many ways and constantly not feeling like myself. I've felt edgy and it's been so hard to feel happy. I feel like there is so much to say about what I learned over the past month, but in summation:

-God is GOOD!

-I need to focus on my calling: to serve women

-I need to focus on those things that are part of my calling and stop overloading my time with everything else

-I am so blessed, and I should be (and can be!) happy

So, I went to San Diego for a Women's Leadership Symposium with a bunch (not all!) of my favorite ladies from college and we had some really interesting conversations. One of which was about birth control. Being someone who concerned with empowering women and ensuring they are educated and well informed I want t make a shout out. Everyone (not just women) should understand how their bodies work. And women, especially, should understand their fertility cycle and how their body works, because 1. its amazing, and 2. it could save your life, you future, and the future of your children and so on.

I'm currently reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" its a great book on how our bodies work and how to avoid getting pregnant naturally without the need for pills, barrier methods, or devices. Or, if you are in that phase of your life (which I am not) it also tells you how to get pregnant.

Anyway, that's my soap box for today.

New Year! New Post!? New cupcake recipe!

I know it's hard to believe I've finally made a new post. I have been so busy and so stressed out with everything that I haven't been myself, and haven't had time to blog. My schedule is significantly less busy this quarter, at least, and hopefully I will have more time and motivation to blog. We'll see. All of my blogging promises have come up empty thus far, so don't hold me to it.

A few months ago a dear friend, dare I say mentor, lent me a book called "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg. I have been slowly going through it like a large, delicious, intensely sweet truffle. Every little bite has been great and I have been taking my time savoring it. Each chapter talks a little about her life or her family and the end of every chapter has a recipe relating to the story. There have been many great recipes that I have been aching to try. This chocolate cupcake recipe was my first so far and I've made it three times this year already. The first time was for New Years Eve and they were quickly devoured. Then I made them again for a friend's birthday. And just recently I used the same recipe for my husband's birthday cake and made chocolate ganache and raspberry sauce as the topping. Decadent and amazing!
An easy must-try recipe. Instead of a sickeningly sweet butter frosting these cupcakes are topped with melted bittersweet chocolate that gently cracks in your mouth with each bite and then slowly melts with the rest of the chocolaty goodness.

Also, if there are left overs do not be offended; somehow these cupcakes are even better the second day!

2011's Bittersweet Cupcakes
'Gredients:
1 oz semisweet chocolate (chips or finely chopped)
1/2 c hot brewed coffee
1 c sugar
3/4 c + 1 tbspn whole wheat flour (or unbleached all-purpose flour if you're a ninny)
1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tspn baking soda
1/4 tspn baking powder
1/4 tspn salt
1 large egg
1/4 c canola oil
1/2 c well stirred plain whole milk yogurt (not the fat free junk)
1/4 tspn vanilla extract

For cupcake topping: 8 oz bittersweet chocolate (chips or finely chopped)

For ganache topping on cake: 1/2 heavy cream, 4 oz bittersweet chocolate (chips or finely chopped)
For raspberry sauce: 1-2 c fresh raspberries, 1/3 c sugar, 2 tbspn lemon juice

Preheat oven to 300 F and line your muffin tin with little cupcake cups.
(If making a cake grease a 8-9" cake pan, place parchment paper in the bottom AND grease the parchment paper. You can also double the recipe to make a double layer cake.)

Pour the semisweet choc into a bowl with the hot coffee and let it melt, stirring occasionally.

In another bowl whisk together all the dry ingredients (sugar-salt).

In your mixer beat the egg on medium for about a minute until it is a bold solid yellow. Beat in oil, yogurt, and vanilla. Beat in melted choc mix until well combined. On low speed, beat in all of the dry ingredients. Scrape down the sides and mix briefly until everything is combined.

Using a 1/4 c measure, spoon batter into the muffin tin (or pour all of it into the cake pan). Bake cupcakes for 20-25 min until a toothpick comes out clean when you poke their little muffin tummies. Let them cool completely before doing the topping. (For the cake, bake ~50 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool.)

Boil water in a small-medium saucepan (keep on a low boil or simmer). Place a glass or metal bowl on top of the saucepan (should fit somewhat inside the pan, but not touch the bottom) and melt the bittersweet chocolate in the bowl until its smooth and inviting. This method helps prevent burning. Pour a heaping spoonful (regular spoon, not soup spoon) on top of each cooled cupcake. Rotate the cupcake to roll the melted chocolate to a smooth cap over the top. Let the melted chocolate cool until it has a matte (dull, not shiny) finish. Enjoy!

For the cake topping:
Heat 1/2 cup heavy cream in a saucepan until steaming NOT boiling. Pour hot cream into a bowl with bittersweet chocolate. Stir occasionally as it melts, shoe away tempted fingers. In a few minutes the choc will melt and only a little bit of cream will be left that can then be stirred vigorously into the chocolate to form a smooth ganache frosting.

While waiting for the choc to melt, put raspberries, sugar and lemon juice into a saucepan and stir over medium heat until the mixture begins to bubble occasionally. The raspberries should be soft, moist, and an intense color. The juice will accumulate and thicken slightly. Careful not to let it burn! Remove from heat.

How you distribute the ganache and raspberry sauce is completely up to you and your guests. Have fun!
This is how I did it:
Pour most of the ganache topping near the middle of the cake. Use the back of a spoon to make an artistic design while spreading the ganache over the top of the cake. (The key is to avoid lifting the spoon until the very end!). Drizzle remaining ganache onto each plate in a zigzag. Place cut cake pieces onto the drizzle design and top with heaping spoonfuls of raspberry sauce.

Yum!!!

Day 5

A great day from beginning to end. I took the opportunity to ride along with a couple of the ladies from my division today while they did work in the field. I met some amazing people, not to mention I got to witness a 2 piece band play on a sandy storm wall as a thunderstorm approached. It was beautiful and dramatic! They played beautiful dixie, ragtime and jazz. I loved it! After this we went out to lunch at the Half Shell and had the most amazing food! We shared charbroiled oysters, I had seafood linguini with artichokes and capers, and then we all shared a bananas fosters cheesecake with vanilla wafer crust! WHEW!! Delicious!!

Then we got to hang out with the most innovative and well organize team I've met. They were so professional and the atmosphere in there work area was creative and open. We ended up having pizza with all of them at the end of the night, sharing stories and laughs. I met one guy who had an amazing story! He was mostly deaf as a kid, joined the military, retired after 21 years, and is now the CEO of a huge multi-business agency, speaks more than 5 languages, owns 7 or 8 houses, and is writing or working on 7 screen plays! How amazing. I could get used to this. Unfortunately I don't think I will have much time in the field after this week.

Day 4

Whew! We are into it now. I am in Mobile, AL. I checked into the command center, and I've started making my way around with the guy I am relieving. He will be here until next week, so I've got a few days to learn the ropes before I have all the responsibility. I prayed about meeting my division and that we would all make a good team and I really feel like my prayers were answered. We have some great people, all very personable and fun. They all seem very capable as well. A few minor personality conflicts exist, but that just keeps things interesting. I feel very blessed to have such a cool opportunity to be apart of history with such a fun job that interests me! Plus it keeps me busy. Hey, if you're gonna be away from home and not on your own terms, you might as well keep busy!
And I have finally moved into a nice hotel with a mini fridge and microwave! It feels good to unpack, stretch out and know that I am going to be in one place for a while.
I was challenged by my mom to try to keep up with my recipe theme on the blog by doing innovative, healthy recipes you can make while staying at a hotel. I am up for the challenge! I don't have any ideas yet, and I don't know how much time I'll have to do it, but the gears are turning.
It is getting a little bit harder to be away from my husband. I miss him! I find my mind drifting to him whenever I see a couple together or when getting ready for bed.
Now that I am here I am trying to establish a routine for meals, bible study and exercise. Oh yeah.. and school work and doula certification and knitting! All while working 12hrs a day. Easy, right?

Day 3

I'm too tired to fully blog right now. I will catch up on day 2 another day... maybe.
However, I went out on an HC-44 flight today to fly over the NOLA area, and see the Deepwater Horizon site from the sky. It was pretty interesting. It's so clean. I was expecting to see tons of oil. I didn't see any! That doesn't mean that there isn't any, but it is pretty clean out there. On the surface any way. Then I met with my bosses and co workers to go over expectations for my new job. following this I went to a knitting store with a friend and spent $44 dollars on knitting stuff! I have high hopes for making a baby outfit for a friend. and then I went to a grocery story to stock up on some healthy delicious foods. then i bgein my drive to mobile alabama. Bye bye NOLA! I hope I get to come back and snag a post card and see some more of your fun shops on magazine st!
I was soooo exhausted driving today. But it was nice driving in my sexy white jetta! When I finally arrive in mobile at 8pm I had to go through a small run around to get to the ICP and get my hotel reservation. I'm at the fairfield inn now.. which is so, so. I dont have a fridge in my room though and I have all these groceries! Hopefully I can switch hotels tomorrow. I really want to unpack and get settled in a nice comfortable room.
I am exhausted. I was thinking about trying to knit tonight, but i think trying to remember how to knit at this level of exhaustion is a bad idea.
good night readers!
wish my luck tomorrow!

Day 1

Day 1;

So, I knew I was going to be sent to the Gulf. I had been planning on it for a while. I just didn't know exactly when or what I would be doing. I put in for a Public Affairs job because I love doing Public Affairs AND I would only have to go for 30 days. So, last weekend my husband, M, and I went for a camping trip out in Deception Pass State Park. I recommend this to every one! It was beautiful. Anyway, the next day after our trip I get my orders and for some reason I decide to fly out right away. Maybe it was because M had already left for a 4 days business trip so I would have been sleeping alone anyway. So within 3 hours of getting my orders I was on a plane to New Orleans (N'awlins). I arrived at 11:30pm, and was picked up by a shuttle driver. I made small talk with him to get a feel for the environment down here

T: "Much change since the oil spill?"

Driver: "Not really"

T: "Cool.....what's a good place to eat?"

I checked in to the hotel and as I arrived in my room and looked at my bed, everything that had happened finally caught up to me. I was in a girl in a foreign city and alone. Why am I here? What am I doing here? Why did I rush out here? Why was I so excited to come?

After settling in and talking to M on the phone, I snuggled up to an old M tshirt and fell asleep.

The next morning I didn't have to show up for work until noon, so I got up, worked out (ran for a petty 1.5 miles), and had a whopping $27 room service breakfast! What a heavy ordeal! A huge plate of scrambled eggs, hash browns, and two massive sauages with a thick slice of cinnamon-grilled granny smith apple. De-lish! Then I had a brief devotional. I am currently reading Acts.

I read Acts Ch 9 today. I was struck by Philip's confidence and fearless ability to run up to the Eunuch after the Holy Spirit told him to. How many times have I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me to do something but I responded by doing nothing out of fear? Even when it's something as simple as saying something to someone about God, or approaching someone and saying Hi. After all the evidence of God's goodness and graciousness, I still hesitate.

I went to work to discover that in two days I am being sent to Mobile, AL to take over as the leader of a division at the Command Post. Crazy! What do I know? I pray that God will be able to guide me!

After spending the day hanging out at the Command Post, I headed back to the hotel room and a bunch of us headed out to Acme Oyster House for dinner. I has grilled oysters and seafood gumbo. All of it was great. Very yummy. A few of us went down Bourbon Street to Cat's Meow for some karaoke. Bourbon Street is just what I imagined. Dirty, music flowing from buildings like a flood from all directions, and neon lights hanging above numerous sad businesses that perpetuate the worst form of slavery and degradation. I feel a deep sense of sadness and pity for both the costumers and the employees. Why does this even have to be a part of our world? I am so glad my husband makes the extra effort to avoid these places and seeing those things. He's such a strong, wonderful, respectful man.

Anyway, we ended up not being patient enough to sing karaoke and headed home. Now I am tired, and not sure if I am going to work out tomorrow morning. I hesitate to realize my empty bed...

But I look forward to tomorrow!

a new capter in life + travel = update blog!

I am still working out the kinks, but I wanted to re-vamp the site because I am doing some new things. A quick update:
-I am changing careers
-I was sent to the Gulf of Mexico for Deepwater Horizon Response

Solitude and Jurassic Paninis

So recently I have been struggling with solitude. I think since I started living alone two years ago I began to transition from an extreme extrovert to more of an introvert. I was concerned when I first moved into my own place that it would be hard to deal with the solitude. It turned out to be quite peaceful and rejuvenating. Nevertheless, it was a new experience for me and I didn't realize how much I valued my alone time until just recently. Our Pastor at Church (we will call him Pastor M) preached a sermon on solitude. It really struck me. I realized I had been really tired (emotionally and mentally mostly) for a while now and I wasn't sure why. Now, writing this I am beginning to put it together. Going from living alone and transitioning into an introvert to living with someone who is close to you most of the day, every day, has really worn me down. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my time with husband. That is why it is so hard to realize I need time apart from him.

So the past 3 weeks exaggerated this realization because I had a horribly long and intrusive 10 days at work (I had to work over the weekend) and then before it was even over we had a house guest. This house guest was so much fun, but still taxing! That week with him was so busy and slowly wore me out even more. Then, two days before house guest #1 left, house guest #2 came! House guest #2 is still here and she is wonderful to have around and things have slowed down a bit, but I still feel like I haven't had any rest. Yesterday I had to go to my favorite bookstore, buy an iced vanilla latte with whip cream, and sit there with my Bible and my journal and just have some quiet one on one time with God. It's sad and frustrating that we don't automatically go to God for respite. Whenever I had a free moment the past 3 weeks I would do things like watch tv and eat ice cream to try to relax, but it never seemed to give me the peace I was searching for. That time at the bookstore was great. I didn't actually want to leave. It wasn't enough. I definitely need more. Two final notes on this:
To my house guests if you happen to read this- I love you! Thank you so much for coming over!! I don't regret it at all and I would have you both over again in a heartbeat. I just didn't give myself relax time and that's my fault. Not yours.
And I forgot the second note. Great.

Jurassic Panini(')s
I don't think there is supposed to be an apostrophe after Panini, but it doesn't look right without one. Anyway, when I was a young teenager my mommy and I would got out to mother-daughter lunches before or after seeing a movie. We would always go to this little coffee/sandwich shop next to the movie theatre and once we had our first "American As Apple Pie Panini" we were pretty much hooked. The same day we had this panini, we almost got kicked out of the shop for laughing so hard at this ridiculus conversation that I ended up knocking over a vase and breaking it. Side note... that was the third vase I had accidentally broken in that shop. The conversation, as many famously funny conversations go, has faded from our memories except for one comment. I was trying to describe someone's reaction to something as "drastic" and my mommy heard "jurassic" and we started laughing hysterically at the thought of this person breaking into a tyrannosaurus rex impression, holding up their hands at their chest with two fingers outstretched like the dinky arms a T-rex has and screaching a pathetic roar with a dramatic roll of the head. So, needless to say it was a great sandwich!
Here is my home-made version affectionately called...

Jurassic Panini

Ingredients: (makes 4 sammys)
8 slices sourdough bread
2 tbspn mayo
1 tbspn raspberry preserves
1/2 tspn lemon zest
1 apple thinly sliced (crispier the better, granny smith is great)
8 slices Roast Beef
4 slices Turkey
Lettuce (amount depends on how much you like on your sammy. I don't recommend too much)
2 small tomatoes (enough slices for 4 sammys)
4 slices mild cheddar or colby cheese
butter as desired

Butter one side of each piece of bread (that will be the outside of your sammy) before beginning. Combine mayo, preserves and lemon zest. Smother four of the slices of bread (non-buttered side) with raspberry-mayo. Apply apple slices on top of raspberry-mayo so that they cover the bread. Place one slice of roast beef on top of apples. Place one slice of turkey on top of roast beef. Place lettuce on top of turkey. Cover lettuce with second slice of roast beef. Top with tomatoes, cheese and then final slice of sourdough (butter side out!).

Place sandwiches in panini grill or grill on low heat on your stove top with skillet or saucepan (like me!). Flip over sandwiches and allow the bread to toast to a golden brown until the cheese begins to melt. Remove from grill/stove and enjoy!

Its been a while Strawberry Shortcake

So yesterday was Part I of our Valentine's Day. We got so much work done around the house! We madea huge list and accomplished it all. This past weekend was pretty busy altogether. On Friday night I had an awesome "Lost" marathon (we watched 3 episodes and decided we were falling asleep too much) with a dear friend. Then on Saturday M (husband) and our friend F and I went hiking. M and I wore 20lb backpacks in training for summiting Mt Rainier. It wasn't too bad, but it definitely added another element to the hike. We then all came back to the house, had amazing burgers for lunch and watched "This is it" the Michael Jackson tribute movie. Maybe we were just exhausted and not in the right mood, but that movie was not so great. It was neat seeing MJ do all of his crazy moves. He still had it at 50, that's for sure! But the whole movie was just a really extreme example of idol worship. Everyone tip toed around him and put all of their worth and happiness in this show. It's so sad to see. I wonder how they are all doing considering they invested so much (financially and emotionally) in that show. On Sunday we spent all day at church! M and I went to the 0900 service and then rushed back for lunch and then back to church for Biblical Marriage class, and then back home for a quick 40 min break and then back to church for out Community Group Leader interview. M is trying to become a Community Group leader and it's pretty interesting to watch. We really love hosting people and sharing time and food and good words. But it's going to be a big change (if that is indeed what comes out of our interview)! THe hardest part is going to be leaving our current Community Group. We love the friends we've made. It's going to be hard starting over.
So by Mon evening M and I were pretty exhausted. But I couldn't resist making a yummy dessert for Valentines Day. Luckily it was a v. easy recipe and didn't take much time, energy or patience!

Strawberry Shortcake:
recipe adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook

Ingredients
5-6 c sliced strawberries
1 c sugar
2 c flour
1/2 c sugar
2 tspn baking powder
1/2 c butter
1 egg
2/3 c milk
1 c whipping cream
2 tspn sugar (optional)

Preheat over to 450 degrees. Combine strawberries and 1 c sugar in a saucepan and simmer on low heat until sugar melts (dont let the strawberries get mushy!). Remove from heat and place in a bowl in the fridge to cool.
Stir together flour, 1/2c sugar, and baking powder. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
In a seperate bowl, beat egg and add milk. Add egg mixture to flour mixture. Stir just until moistened. Spread the dough into an 8.5" square or circular baking dish.
Bake for 15 min, until a wooden toothpick just barely comes out clean. Let cool for about 10 min.
Meanhwile, whip whipping cream and 2 tspns sugar together until the cream is the right texture for you (approx. 5 min?)
Cut the shortcake into 6-9 servings, and split each serving into 2 layers. Distribute strawberries in between the layers and on top of each serving. Top with a dollop of whip cream and enjoy!

All is right again Chewy Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies

So, from my last post, here are some ways i coped with the loneliness:
-tried to plan activities that involved interacting with other people almost every night
-tried to take up knitting again while falling asleep to "Phantom of the Opera"
-borrowed my neighbors doggy in the evenings for company

Segue:
My neighbors are awesome! I had an amazing dinner with them on Monday to take my mind off of worries. They are slightly older than me and husband and they have a 7 mo old adorable cutie. They are essentially examples of the people husband and I hope to be in a few yrs or so. It's really fun seeing a peer-ish couple doing the kid thing and still being cool, fun, interesting and not all consumed by child. They are v. loving toward the babe by the way. She's going to grow up great. I think you can tell a lot about a family by how the baby takes in the world. Neighbor baby (we will call her N) is a v. well adjusted, easily amused, calm baby. I want one just like her!
Anyways, the new neighbors like to cook and bake, and that was actually our first intro to them. The age old "Hi new neighbors! We baked some goods for you to welcome you to the neighborhood!" V (wife type neighbor) baked some amazing ginger cookies with large chunks of melt in your mouth chocolate and cocoa flavor all around. They were delicious! So, I borrowed her recipe, made it, and loved the cookies again. I do not know who the originator of the recipe is or I would give them mad props. Also, I plan on baking a ton of these and giving them in little baggies to all non-family for Christmas due to budget-induced-tight-walletedness.
A must post recipe:

Chewy Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies
(Makes about 20 cookies)

-7 oz high quality semisweet chocolate chopped up (I used 3/4 of a 12oz bag of Ghiradelli choco chips)
- 1.5 cups + 1 tbsp flour
-1.25 tsp ground ginger
-1 tsp ground cinnamon
-1/4 tsp ground cloves
-1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
-1 tbsp cocoa powder

Chop chocolate in 1/4" chunks. Combine dry ingredients listed above. Set aside.

8 tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter (room temp)
1 tbsp ginger
1/2 cup dark brown suger
1/2 cup unsulfured molasses
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup granulated sugar

Beat ginger and butter in electric mixer with paddle attahcment until fluffy (about 4 min). Add brown sugar until combined. Add molasses until combined.

Dissolves baking soda in 1.5 tsp boiling water (I know this is a ridiculously small amount of water to boil, but I guess this step is important. So boil a few cups of water and then use only 1.5 tsp). Beat half of the flour mixture into the butter mixture. Beat in baking soda mixture. Beat in rest of flour mixture. Add chocolate and mix. Wrap up the complete cookie batter into plastic wrap. Refrigerate.

This is the part that is up to your discretion; Refrigeration.
The key to chewy cookies is refrigeration time. If you want denser, flatter, heavy, chewy cookies refrigerate these babies for ~2hrs. If you want really fluffy cookies do not refrigerate at all. My preferred time frame for chewy, slightly dense, yet light cookies is 1hr.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Roll cookies into into 1" balls and roll in granulated sugar (this gives them that pretty sugar plum christmas look!). Place on non-stick cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes. The cookies will look plump and raised with a couple of cracks in them. Be careful! 2 minutes too late for these cookies can make them v. crunchy and not as yummy.

Let cool until you can bear to pick up the hot aromatic melted chocolate goodness and stuff your face!

Love.

Day 1

I don't know what to title this yet. I idolize my husband. So much of my happiness is dependent on him. Some ways you know if you idolize someone/something;
1. You get angry (to the point of doing things you regret, or not characteristic for you to do) when something gets between you and your idol
2. You are really sad (depressed; you have trouble getting out of bed and have no motivation to do anything) when you don't have your idol.

I wish I didn't in some ways. But I don't know how to stop. He is gone for 6 days this week because of a business trip. He left this morning. The past two days were rough. I tried to be strong and not let it bother me, but I know I know I miss him more than he misses me and all I do is waste time/wait until he gets back. He laid with me while I essentially cried myself to sleep the last two nights.
Why am I like this? I used to be SO independent. The last two years of our relationship were long distance. The first year was fun and not too hard. The second year we missed each other a lot, but it was definitely doable. But now I am this puddle of a mess. I have to remember how it is I survived 23 years of life before this without falling asleep next to someone or having someone to come home to/with. What did I do all of that time??? How did I have any motivation?
We have been praying a lot about me putting my attention and investing my energy on God rather than him. It's a lot of pressure for him too you know. I hold him to a standard he can never live up to, no matter how much he wants to. He can never make me happy all the time, or be there everyday, or meet all of my needs at once. No one can, except God.
I have a lot of trouble with that though.

We spent our last day together cooking and baking. It's our past time. He made Beet Soup, and Potato Leek Soup. I made Cinnamon Rolls and Pumpkin/Harvest Bread. Everything turned out great. I don't really feel like typing out some quirky version of these recipes, so here ya go;

Pumpkin/Harvest Bread

Cinnamon Rolls

i might have a problem peanut butter bars

It's my day off from work. I had to work a v. stressful event over the weekend starting from Thurs. and I have been exhausted. Too much sun and heat, on the water all weekend dealing with careless people. I decided to take a comp. day from work. As usual I come up with a menacing list of "to dos" on my relax day. I need to go grocery shopping and I wanted to finish reading my Bible today (selfishly so I can move onto another book). I just wrote 30+ thank you notes. How do I decide to spend the rest of my afternoon? Baking peanut butter bars with 1 1/2 sticks of butter to make me feel even worse about not working out!

Recipe taken in part from Jif

Ingredients:

Crust:
1 stick butter
3/8 c sugar
1/2 c flour
3/4 c oatmeal

Peanut Butter Bars:
1/2 stick butter
1/2 c water
1/4 c peanut butter (a bit more if you want a stronger pb flavor)
1/4 c oil
1 c flour
1 c sugar
1/2 tspn baking soda
1/4 c milk
1/2 tspn vanilla
1 egg

Crust:
Mix dry ingredients. Add in melted butter and mix until combined. Press into the bottom of an 8"x 8" pan.

Peanut Butter Bars:
Heat butter, water, peanut butter, and oil in a saucepan, stirring occasionally. Once it is brought to a boil, set in fridge to cool.

Combine dry ingredients in mixture. Add milk, vanilla, and egg. Add peanut butter mixture and combine. Pour into 8"x 8" pan over crust. Place in 380 degree oven for ~40 min, until the corners brown and pull away from the edges and a chopstick comes out clean after poking the center.

Enjoy!